Voicemail is for tools

You might think that activating your voicemail would be a simple process. You would be wrong. Months ago, when I got my cell phone, I went through the automated process of calling and "turning on" my voicemail and recording a message. After not receiving a single message in 2 months, I became suspicious, and discovered through rigorous testing that my calls were left to ring endlessly, unanswered

Apparently, "turning on" my voicemail did not actually activate it. These are wholly distinct processes, and not to be confused. What follows is the step-by-step process for activating one's voicemail, as compiled from not one but two calls to Customer Support:

(1) Call [number] from your phone.*
(2) Wait for the automated message to hang-up on you.**
(3) [Turn your phone off and on again.]***
(4) You will receive a text message. It's immaterial. Delete it.
(5) [Go into your Settings menu and activate Call Diverting.]****

* Tech Support Person 1 told me to text that number, not call it, perhaps leading to Customer Support call #2.
** The message does not, in fact, hang up on you. It merely loops endlessly waiting for you to choose an option. This is after it tells you to turn your phone off and on, though.
*** This step was left out by Tech Support Person 2.
**** This step was left out by Tech Support Person 1.

It is now 20 minutes in to the supposedly 30 in which I could receive the text message. I'm not holding my breath.